Comfort by Carolee Dean – Summary & Review
A Powerful Coming-of-Age Story About Finding Your Voice
If you’ve ever been a teenager with angst, who feels that there’s more to life besides your home, read this.
If you’d like to have a new perspective on the way teenagers feel and think, this will be a good read for you.
If you’ve experienced what it’s like to be raised in an alcoholic household or with a mother who makes you want to leave home because she’s incredibly overbearing and demanding, read this.
There are some parts that I feel are glossed over and then other parts where the plot just runs too quickly through the storyline. It’s still a good story, but I only gave it 3/5 stars. I would still give it a chance if you’re wanting something to read… maybe in the school library before you head home.
Meet Kenny
Kenny, the main character, believes there’s more to life than his over-controlling Mama and his drunk daddy.
“I had dreams of my own. They did not include my mama, the café, my snot nose baby brother, or a no-account drunk daddy.” (4)
He’s a huge fan of writing and studying poetry.
“I like to try out new words every now and then because Mrs. Peterson, my English teacher and the sponsor for the school paper, says that words give you power. They can take you places you never thought possible.” (8)
The references to small-town life really resonate with those who have grown up in small towns, where everyone knows everyone and every good and bad story. It’s a great example of how impactful it can be in making connections with others in your hometown.
Kenny has a deadbeat father who seems to want to turn his life around and a mother who gives everything she’s got to the man she believes will be the next Randy Travis.
Kenny Willson spends all of his time working for his mother in a small café that she bought… really with the intention of helping her husband become the next greatest country singer. She made Kenny quit the football team, and his only solace is writing for the school newspaper. He never gets paid for working in the café but secretly begins to stash money away for his dream of running away to Dallas.
“The thing about Mama was that she could be whacking you one minute and hugging you the next.” (15)
Who hasn’t honestly experienced this with a parent?!
The title of the book references the small town they live in, but I believe it also hints at the comfort the narrator wants to feel. The need to be intertwined with something special and meaningful instead of the mindless work he does for a mama who cares more about the legend she wants her husband to become.
She even goes as far as to deny him potential job opportunities because she wants him to be a star! A star in the spotlight that can change their small-town world.
He, on the other hand, seems to be more interested in just laying low and admiring the stars of the sky.
“When you’re in the big city you don’t get views of the sky like this. Personally, I prefer the way things look from out here in the country.” (83)
Young Love, Poetry, and Dreams
Kenny, on the other hand, is in love with a girl named Cindy who is the only thing keeping him in town. They both love writing and spending time together, but he’s three years younger than her and that’s just not acceptable (as he can tell from the way she looks at him and cries at his words during poetry readings).
When Kenny asked his father if it was hard to stay sober, he said,
“You gotta put your life in order to stay sober. To make it work. That’s the hard part, setting things straight, making things right. Like taking responsibility. Getting a job. Making amends.” (39)
Kenny is so in love with Cindy, and I love the way he describes her.
“I just kept looking at her, thinking how much poetry her face could inspire.” (49)
Cindy and Kenny participate in poetry reading contests and win. It’s all because of her that he continues with the poetry contests, and I’m not sure if it’s because of his love for her or his love of words.
He’s so infatuated with her and can’t stand the thought of her being with someone else, especially someone like Todd. Todd is a complete nincompoop who cares more about being macho and burly than being a good man.
One night, Todd and his friends bring their girlfriends to the café, and they’re drunk and disorderly. At one point, Todd pushes Cindy and it sets Kenny off. He doesn’t stand up for her as much as I think he should have, but it’s a start.
Abuse, Fear, and Broken Families
Kenny references how hard his mama is on him, especially when he does so much for her and the café.
“I felt rage bubbling to the surface again. It was getting harder and harder to keep a lid on it. I wanted to tear out her hair. Then I was afraid and ashamed of how angry I felt.” (112)
This was such a great scene to show readers how abused children can feel. No matter how much children are pushed down and abused, they will still stay strong on the outside and hide how they really feel.
“I didn’t want her seeing how mad she made me so I looked away.” (113)
Later, Cindy comes in with a black eye from her father. We discover it’s because she has gotten pregnant from Todd and has told her father. She decides to go to the café and yell to everyone that he beat her.
The people in the café watched her outburst but don’t say anything. It made me think about why people don’t get involved in situations, even if it is to help someone else. Even Kenny’s mama says,
“We got other customers that need waiting on. She’s making a scene. Tell her to go on home.” (114)
I know that people don’t want to involve themselves in other people’s business, especially for fear of getting hurt themselves, but still, it isn’t right. My assumption is that the book is showing how people react in situations like that in real life.
Since Todd has apparently gotten Cindy pregnant, he comes to Kenny to convince him to give Cindy $300 to get an abortion. Todd doesn’t care how he gets the money, but he wants Kenny to take care of it.
While dealing with the gravity of the situation, Kenny finds liquor being hidden in the pantry. Of course, his mama thinks it’s his instead of his daddy’s.
“I felt her hand before I saw it. It came up quick and hit me so hard across the cheek that I fell back against the wall, hit my head, and dropped the liquor. I saw stars for a minute.” (139)
How incredibly painful this must have felt—not just from the slap across the face, but from her believing it was his liquor instead of his father’s.
His Mama continues to blame him for everything, even though he’s doing his best.
“Who do you think you are? You will not destroy everything I have worked for my whole life.” (141)
After she throws the bottle of whiskey against the wall and it crashes down upon him, causing his face to bleed, the first thing he says is, “I’m sorry Mama,” not even sure what he is sorry for.
This makes me think about how children, even if they are abused, will continue to protect their parent out of love.
The Power of Words
The Power of Words
At one point, Kenny is given an assignment to write about his environment and he disagrees that it’s something worth writing about.
“My sheet–metal–sided house, my drunk daddy, and my crazy mama. Those things didn’t belong in a poem; they belong in a joke book.” (145)
Even though these ideas may seem comical to him, they are probably more common in American households than he thinks!
Later, there’s a sad part where Kenny ends up hurting Cindy’s sister Suzie when he pushes her out of the way to get back to his mom. He says he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean to hurt her, but his lack of disregard for another woman is a surprising personal characteristic.
When Home Isn't Home
Kenny still wants to run away to Dallas, but he does think of his little brother whom he would leave behind. He started to think of taking Cindy with him, but then, due to Cindy’s pregnancy, she gets married to Todd. Now his situation is similar to Cindy getting married to Todd and leaving her little sister Suzie behind. Suzie will now be the punching bag that Cindy was to her dad.
After their marriage, they have a small "reception" at the café. Suzie and Cindy’s father becomes increasingly disrespectful and threatens to hurt Suzie.
It was one of my favorite parts when Suzie finally stands up for herself.
“I am telling you straight out how it’s going to be. You so much as touch me and I won’t waste my time crying to a bunch of truckers and waitresses—I’ll go straight to the law.” (161–162)
Kenny remarked that he respects her and her grown-up self. She was as "solid as a rock. She stood up to her father without losing her cool." (163)
Oh, what it must feel like to stand up to your parents and not have them want to slap your face off your neck!!
School: A Safe Haven
After everything that’s happened, Kenny has decided that he’s going to drop out of school and run away to Dallas—not only to get away from his mama and his drunk daddy, but also from Cindy, now that she’s married to Todd.
He continues to go to class but then realizes:
“There was no real point in being there. I was planning on dropping out of school in a day. The school is what felt like home to me and I thought I’d try to appreciate it while it lasted.” (167)
This point reminds me of an old story I read called The Sanctuary of School and how school should be a safe place for children. It makes you wonder what an educator could have done to help him or talk him out of this bad decision. His mind seems to be made up, but he still hasn’t pulled the trigger (no foreshadowing pun intended).
Finding His Voice
He finally decides to open up and write a poem about his true experiences at home. It’s titled, "I ain’t going down, mama."
His teacher is truly touched by it and she read it to all of her classes.
“Nobody can teach you to speak from your heart. That comes from inside. Nobody can give that to you. You wrote from your heart, Kenny, and it moved me. You have a real talent and I hope you plan on pursuing it. Your grades are certainly good enough to get you into college, but it takes more than that.” (170)
No matter what, never let your dreams die. No matter if you have a drunk mother, if you end up pregnant in high school, or if you end up on the streets—don’t let your dreams die too.
As a reader, you should take those words as an inspiration!
Suzie even helps him to feel confident.
“Words have power, Kenny. They can give people hope, courage, and confidence.”
He finally felt a surge of purpose and that his words had power, but he still didn’t know what to do with them.
Holding On to Hope
Just as those who grow up in broken homes or with alcoholic parents, his mama says that their luck will take a turn for the better.
“She said it with such confidence that I almost believed her. I suddenly wondered what would happen if she were right. What if we got rich and our luck turned around and her family got straightened out and I threw it all away to run out to Dallas? What if money actually did change things and daddy was able to quit drinking and stay sober?” (173)
What’s really powerful about this quote is that this is exactly what children in broken homes or difficult situations can truly believe. If things can just go right for once, would everything get better?
When he finally decides to run away, he hears his mom yelling at him from the front door of the café.
“That’s the last time I’ll hear her voice screaming at me. That’s the last time I’ll look into his lying eyes. And that’s the last time anyone will say they care about me.” (200)
How far will he actually go? Will he really make it out of town and into a new life?
Or will it be like the old story...
The Town Ahead: A Lesson About Attitude
After reading that story, it made me think about how often we blame our surroundings for the life we're living:
A man pulled up to a gas station in the country. He asked the gas station attendant, “What are the people like in the next town up ahead?”
The attendant said, “What were the people like in the town you just came from?”
“Awful people,” the man responded. “Rude, cold, hostile, abrupt, unfriendly. They wouldn’t give me the time of day.”
“Well,” said the attendant, “I’m sorry to say it, but you’re going to find exactly the same sort of people in the next town up ahead.”
A bit later, another driver pulled in, heading in the same direction as the first. “What are the people like in the next town up ahead?” the second man asked.
The attendant said, “What were the people like in the town you just came from?”
“Wonderful people,” the second man responded. “Friendly, warm, helpful, patient, kind. They went out of their way to help a stranger.”
“Well,” said the attendant, “I’m happy to tell you that you’re going to find exactly the same kind of people in the next town up ahead.”
This is a story about attitude that illustrates it’s not always the environment or the people around us that determine our future, but the perspective we choose to carry with us. A positive attitude can produce positive results, while a negative attitude often creates negative ones.
Then Kenny says:
“I realized for the first time that I didn’t want to run from Comfort. What I wanted was to be a real and true part of it. But Mama would never let that happen.… I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go for it and I couldn’t go backward.” (202)
I’m sure most of us have been in a similar situation where we don’t know which way to turn, as either direction comes with both positive and negative consequences. Life is about making choice after choice after choice while trying to figure out the best path forward.
A Tragic Turning Point
As he’s trying to run away, he realizes that he wants to compete in the poetry reading contest and he makes his way back towards school.
But as he does, he catches his dad trying to rob the liquor store again and Smitty shooting him in the chest.
As he’s crying and wondering if life will ever be normal, he then realizes that it’s 7:40 and he’s missed the bus to leave for Austin for the poetry reading competition.
How in the world could he just witness his dad being shot and still only be concerned with catching the bus? Was it because of his life up to this point, or do some children lack the necessary perspective to recognize the gravity of a situation?
After his daddy dies, Mama and him experience a lot of silence.
What is unusual is that they go back to the liquor store, where he was shot and killed, to clean up all of the blood.
Can you imagine how this must have felt—to clean up the blood of someone you love? I couldn't do it in general for someone, let alone someone I didn't want to die.
The Meaning Behind "Comfort"
The song that his daddy sings at the beginning of the book says:
Take me home to where I belong.
Take me home though the road is long.
Make a bed of roses.
Lay me down in the grass.
'til I find myself in Comfort at last.
I never realized this was foreshadowing his father’s fate and what ended up happening—he is now laying down in the grass and in comfort.
Standing Up for Yourself
“Maybe it was impossible to go around fear. Maybe the only way was through it. Walking through it, pushing through it, until you got to the other side.” (221)
The moment he finally decides to stand up for himself—and realizes speaking poetry in front of an audience is what he was born to do—he reads his "I ain’t going down, mama" poem.
At the end, he sees his mom standing in the back of the room.
“She looks like somebody who just found a lost toddler and didn’t know whether to hug it or scream at it.” (227)
That was a difficult part to read, as I’m sure his mother was devastated.
However, to him, finally standing up to her was what needed to happen to build their relationship.
He knew how strong she was, and he just wanted her on his side.
“She pulled into my arms and it was as if we’d suddenly exchanged places. As if I was the parent and she was a little child.” (228)
Final Thoughts
Suzie asks him what makes people do the same stupid things over and over again.
“Comfort… They gravitate towards familiar, even if it’s painful.” (230)
In the end, Kenny is starting to grow a relationship with his mother and with Suzie, and things are looking up.
Cindy, on the other hand, is pregnant again and her fate is so far from what she wanted for her life. It makes you wonder how often this happens in small-town America—or really, anywhere girls find themselves trapped in unhealthy relationships.
Even though the novel has interesting parts and many moments where I found myself emotional or deeply impacted by the words, I would still give the book 3 out of 5 stars.
